Our Weird Habits…

 

Dear Blog

When you live with someone there are many things that start coming into the light. It’s very much like dating. When you start dating the guy or girl is always polite, correct and dressed fashionably nice. After months or years of dating, you begin to see sides to that person that the first dates didn’t revile. (such as maybe he likes wearing wrinkled shirts all the time, or prefers sitting and watching TV rather than hiking…Or she doesn’t always wear makeup, she prefers oversized T-shirts, etc)

Well something similar seems to be happening between Gerard and I.

Our relationship has always been based on honesty, brutal honesty. Even when we were friends we were always honest and very trusting. However now that we live under the same roof there are some ‘weird’ habits that I’ve noticed he has or he has noticed I have.

Some of them are funny the others just seems unique. But I thought I’d share them with you.

Gerard’s Habits (Top 5 for now.)

1) Whenever he is deep  in thought or analyzing something he stares off into space. Then he cringles his nose, making is upper lip stick up and his right eye twitches a bit. (I’d noticed him do this years ago when we were friends, but I’m starting to realized how often he does it…I find this habit adorable.)

2) He is always rubbing the back of his neck. At first I thought maybe he was ichy on the back of his neck because his hair cut is short and I thought that when the hair grew back it bothered him. However, even with ‘long’ hair, he rubs his neck.

3) His shoes always have to be aligned in the closet: sneakers, brown shoes and then black shoes.

4) If he doesn’t walk around the block (or walk a few blocks near the house) he can’t sleep. (I’m guessing this is a good healthy habit)

5) He chain smokes whenever he has had a bad day at work.  On good days he only smokes one cigarette before dinner.

 

My Top 5 Habits… (or Habits that Gerard has pointed out that I have)

1) I always wash the dishes in a specific order:  (We don’t have a dish washer so I put them on a green drain board we have.)  First I wash the plates, then I wash the glasses (cups), then the fry pans or containers, and last I wash the silverware.  (I hadn’t noticed this but it is true!)

2) I bite the inside of my lip when I am lost in thought (daydreaming). (or whenever I am deep in thought I bite the top of my lip) (my parents always complain that I have this habit)

3) I smoke a cigarette whenever I have a writer’s block.  (guilty as charged)

4) I line up the spices in the kitchen cabinet so that they are color coordinated.  ( i think it looks nice! but it drives him nuts)

5)  I talk to myself and answer myself when I think I’m alone. I do this a lot when I’m stressed (LOL…so true….)

 

So these were some odd habits that we have noticed in each other.

Maybe I’ll add more later…as the days go by we learn new things about each other and ourselves.

till next time.

XOXO

Desirae

Lazy Day with Bryce

Dear Blog

I am a movie addict. I was sitting in our half-furnished TV room watching “How to lose a guy in 10 days” when the doorbell rang. (I was feeling lazy today, so I didn’t have anything fancy on. I was wearing my over-sized green V top and favorite black sweat pants along rainbow colored winter socks. I think I had my hair pulled back in a rubber band (and my hair is waist length long). I basically looked like a mess. )

I got up to answer the door and was greeted by Bryce. Normally he is very smiley, but as he stared back at me, he looked like he’d been hit by a train.

“Hey Bryce! Come in.”

He walked in and shook my hand. “Hi Rae. I don’t want to get to close to you; I think I am coming down with a cold. I don’t want you to get sick as well…”

“Oh, don’t be silly. I won’t get sick and even if I do, I do not mind. I don’t have to worry about getting up for a job, so I’ve got plenty of time to stay in bed being sick.” I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “It’s great that you stopped by. I was just watching a movie on television. But it’s great to have company.”

“I won’t stay long; I just stopped by to say ‘hello’ and see if you have any apple cinnamon tea. The store doesn’t have anymore and I know you always stock up on that tea.”

I laughed. I am addicted to apple cinnamon tea. I cannot get enough of it. Gerard hates that tea, so it is a little guilty pleasure that I can enjoy. Bryce likes that kind of tea as well, so it’s nice to have someone else that shares my taste in tea. I had just bought 4 boxes of apple cinnamon tea (each box has about 24 bags.) I walked to the pantry and brought out a box for him.

“Here you go. Keep the box. You don’ know when the store will have the tea again. Treat yourself to some delicious tea while you are sick.”

Smiling he took the box from me. I could tell that he didn’t feel well.

“Bryce, why don’t you stay a while and have a cup of tea with me. I’ll make us chicken soup for lunch and some grill cheese sandwiches.” I put my arm around his arm. “What do you say?”

“I don’t want to bother you…”

“Oh, it isn’t a bother at all. I am alone here, and I was about to make myself some tea.” I pulled him towards the couch in the TV room and put a blanket around him. I put two cups of teas to heat up in the microwave and looked for some tissues. When I walked back into the room, he had his head leaning back against the couch and he’d wrapped himself up in the blanket. I handed him his cup of tea and sat down next to him. We stared at the TV for a few minutes and let the sound coming from the movie echo through the room. Slowly he put his head against mine.

“I miss them…” he said.

I didn’t have to ask who he was talking about. I knew he was talking about his parents. Two and a half years ago, his parents were accidently killed in crossfire between policemen and drug dealers. They were at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a horrible day. Gerard had been the one who went with him to identify the bodies. I don’t know the details, (and I never asked) but the funeral was close-casket, all I know is that that image haunts Bryce. (I wouldn’t doubt that it will haunt him until the day he dies.) Bryce, like me, is an only child. He didn’t have anyone else. His grandparents and uncles have been taking turns checking in on him. During the months that followed after their death two of Bryce’s older cousins moved in with him at his parents’ house. But eventually they moved back out and continued with their life. Bryce has been living there alone for about a six months now. I think he is fixing the house so that he can rent the house and have roommates.

I have told Bryce that he can always come and stay with us in our new home. He is more than welcome to stay overnight or weekends. He says he will take up the offer some day, but he can’t stay away from his home more than a couple days.

Now as he sits beside me, my heart breaks. He is sick and needs pampering and love. I lean closer to him and hug him. I kiss the top of his head and hold him in my arms while I rub his back. Eventually I heard him breathing steadily and I knew he’s fallen asleep. Gently I moved off the couch and went in the kitchen.

Bryce slept for about an hour and a half, when he finally woke up, he looked rested. He ate the chicken soup and grill cheese sandwich that I made for lunch/dinner.

I am grateful that my mother taught me small things in the kitchen so that I was helpful for Bryce today. The rest of the evening Bryce and I sat on the couch in front of the heater talking and laughing at old memories. It was a lazy day with my best friend.

“Bryce…” I said as I stretched my legs on the lazy-boy chair we have in the room.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He answered smiling. He looked at his wrist watch and started to get up off the couch. “It is getting late and I think it would be best if I got home. I have an important meeting tomorrow at the studio. Thank you for the meal…”

“You don’t need to thank me. You know you are welcome here any time. It was nice hanging out today.” I walked him to the door and handed him a Tupperware with leftover chicken soup. “If you still feel bad by Monday, you should go to the doctor. Take it easy tomorrow. It’s Saturday, you still need to rest.”

He chuckled to himself. He looked a lot better than when he arrived earlier. I think he just really needed to rest and enjoy a homemade hot meal.

“Thank you again for having me. You are a saint.” He gave me a long hug and walked to his car. The house suddenly feels empty and sad. Gerard will be home in about 2 hours, but I feel alone right now.

I had started doing laundry earlier, but when Bryce came I completely forgot. As I put the wet clothes from the washing machine into the dryer my mind wanders into a state of limbo. I mentally go over what has happened during the day and think back to how far my friendship with Bryce and Gerard has come.

My train of thought gets interrupted when I hear my cel phone ring. I read on the call ID that it’s my agent.

“Hello?”

“Desirae! I’ve got wonderful news for you.” My agent said in a

“Really? What is it?”

“Your novel, “Heart Be True” has just gotten approved and goes into printing on Monday!! By Thursday your book will be in every bookstore!”

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you sooo much!” I jumped up and down in excitement. “That IS wonderful news!”

“We are proud of you…”

“I hope it lives up to my previous novel.”

“Oh, you don’t worry about that!” She said. “By the way, have you found a job yet?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Listen, my nephew goes to the “LongVille* School” I heard they are hiring teachers. Why don’t you apply there?”

“I’ll take it into account! Thanks!”

“You are welcome. I have to go doll. But enjoy your evening and celebrate!”

I’m going to jump in the shower and get dressed up. I’m going to tell Gerard that we are going out for dinner. I don’t care if it’s a fancy restaurant or just to the local hamburger spot. My novel is hitting the stores soon and I am so excited!!

Till next time.

XOXO

Desirae

*Name changed for privacy reasons.

Understanding Independence

Dear Blog

I have not updated in a LONG time!!!

Married life has kept me busier than usual. A couple big events have happened since I last wrote on the 5th.

I was fired from my job on the 10th. I was devastated. (I still am a bit devastated. I’d been working there for 4 years teaching/tutoring Spanish.) The school went bankrupt and was unable to pay teachers. I was ‘lucky’ enough to get paid some compensation since I’d been working there for so long.

A week later a new owner bought the building and it is scheduled to be demolished soon. I think they are planning on opening a commercial center.

Starting a new life and unemployed has added a bit of drama. My parents told me that things would get better and that maybe this was a blessing in disguise.

Since I haven’t been able work and job openings are scarce, I dedicated myself to being a complete housewife. All the boxes are unpacked and most of the knickknacks are placed around the house. The house is still missing furniture in certain areas. I think that the Bedrooms and Kitchen/eating area are the only areas that looked like they are lived in. The dinning room has 3 different folding tables leaning against that wall and two medium wooden cabinets (one that belonged to Gerard’s mother and one that my parents bought us) where we keep the new chinaware that we received as a wedding present.

The living room has an old sofa that Gerard had in his room. Everyone says that there is one particular item that guys love and their wives hate. The sofa is the one item I hate. It is a black suede couch that has silver and blue zig-zags through it. It is too modern for our house. If I could find a way to make it disappear (burn it!) I would. But Gerry L-O-V-E-S the couch. He told me that when he got his first pay check that was what he bought. (I think that if he paid more than 10 dollars for it, he got ripped off… Have I mentioned I hate it?) I tried putting a nice blanket over it, but he takes it off every time. It is the most uncomfortable couch to sit in. I guess we are lucky that we don’t have many visitors yet. As soon as I get a new job and I pull in a decent salary I am buying us a living room set.

The office is set up with two desks so that each one of us can get work done. Gerry doesn’t work much at his desk at home, he does a lot of his work at the office. I am guessing that in the end the office is going to become more like the Library (and my small office, since I work A LOT in the office.)

We just got internet and cable hooked up a week ago. Apparently some wires were messed up and the electrician had to come over and inspect the house. Now I can happily check my emails from the comfort of my home, without running down to the local Starbucks and buy a $5 dollar coffee just to check my emails.

Anyway, staying at home has been keeping me busy. I am not sure if I enjoy the 100% stay-at-home-wife. I miss getting up early in the morning to go teach classes. There are some days when I feel like I’m going crazy. But in general, I guess it still feels like I’m in a honeymoon.

Everyone says that marriage is an adjustment. I couldn’t agree more. Gerry and I are getting use to living together, learning to co-live. He puts up with my constant nagging of cleaning up and I put up with his disorganization.

There are a lot of things that we are learning to accept about each other. However there is this one thing that Gerry does that bothers me… He doesn’t call anymore when he’s at work.

He used to call me once or twice a day…and it made me feel special that he was so considerate. I don’t need for him to call me every second, we are living together, I see him in the morning and at night. What bothers me is that he doesn’t call to tell me when he’s going out to lunch or dinner with his friends. He doesn’t call to tell me when he’ll be staying late at the office.

Maybe I am overreacting, maybe it is not a big deal. But I grew up as an only child and I was required to always check in with my parents. If I was going to be late, if I was going to a movie, if I was having lunch at school or home, etc. I had to always tell someone my thoughts and my actions.

Gerard grew up more independent and free. He never checked in. (and if he did, it was always the next day.)

I am not asking for him to call me All The Time. All I ask is for him to be considerate of me. Twice this past week I have cooked dinner and waited for him to come home. He arrives at 11:30 and tells me he has already eaten. It hurts me, because I plan a nice dinner and I feel like a fool waiting for him. I wonder if he knows that I worry for him. I worry when I don’t hear from him. I try calling him and a lot of times his cel phone is out of range or he simple doesn’t answer.

We have spoken about this topic already, but I wonder if he really understands me. I’m not being neurotic, I just want to know if I should be expecting him in the evening for a family dinner. I just want for him to check in with me.

I guess I am just learning the hard way that he has always been free and never had someone checking in with him so much. I am understanding his independence from everyone. However, he’s not alone anymore. He has me. He has to know that there is someone waiting everyday to hear from him; good news and bad news.

Marriage is harder than I thought. (And I think this isn’t even the beginning of what may come… oh gosh….)

Till next time.

Desirae

aka. Mrs. Valdespino