Our Weird Habits…

 

Dear Blog

When you live with someone there are many things that start coming into the light. It’s very much like dating. When you start dating the guy or girl is always polite, correct and dressed fashionably nice. After months or years of dating, you begin to see sides to that person that the first dates didn’t revile. (such as maybe he likes wearing wrinkled shirts all the time, or prefers sitting and watching TV rather than hiking…Or she doesn’t always wear makeup, she prefers oversized T-shirts, etc)

Well something similar seems to be happening between Gerard and I.

Our relationship has always been based on honesty, brutal honesty. Even when we were friends we were always honest and very trusting. However now that we live under the same roof there are some ‘weird’ habits that I’ve noticed he has or he has noticed I have.

Some of them are funny the others just seems unique. But I thought I’d share them with you.

Gerard’s Habits (Top 5 for now.)

1) Whenever he is deep  in thought or analyzing something he stares off into space. Then he cringles his nose, making is upper lip stick up and his right eye twitches a bit. (I’d noticed him do this years ago when we were friends, but I’m starting to realized how often he does it…I find this habit adorable.)

2) He is always rubbing the back of his neck. At first I thought maybe he was ichy on the back of his neck because his hair cut is short and I thought that when the hair grew back it bothered him. However, even with ‘long’ hair, he rubs his neck.

3) His shoes always have to be aligned in the closet: sneakers, brown shoes and then black shoes.

4) If he doesn’t walk around the block (or walk a few blocks near the house) he can’t sleep. (I’m guessing this is a good healthy habit)

5) He chain smokes whenever he has had a bad day at work.  On good days he only smokes one cigarette before dinner.

 

My Top 5 Habits… (or Habits that Gerard has pointed out that I have)

1) I always wash the dishes in a specific order:  (We don’t have a dish washer so I put them on a green drain board we have.)  First I wash the plates, then I wash the glasses (cups), then the fry pans or containers, and last I wash the silverware.  (I hadn’t noticed this but it is true!)

2) I bite the inside of my lip when I am lost in thought (daydreaming). (or whenever I am deep in thought I bite the top of my lip) (my parents always complain that I have this habit)

3) I smoke a cigarette whenever I have a writer’s block.  (guilty as charged)

4) I line up the spices in the kitchen cabinet so that they are color coordinated.  ( i think it looks nice! but it drives him nuts)

5)  I talk to myself and answer myself when I think I’m alone. I do this a lot when I’m stressed (LOL…so true….)

 

So these were some odd habits that we have noticed in each other.

Maybe I’ll add more later…as the days go by we learn new things about each other and ourselves.

till next time.

XOXO

Desirae

Understanding Independence

Dear Blog

I have not updated in a LONG time!!!

Married life has kept me busier than usual. A couple big events have happened since I last wrote on the 5th.

I was fired from my job on the 10th. I was devastated. (I still am a bit devastated. I’d been working there for 4 years teaching/tutoring Spanish.) The school went bankrupt and was unable to pay teachers. I was ‘lucky’ enough to get paid some compensation since I’d been working there for so long.

A week later a new owner bought the building and it is scheduled to be demolished soon. I think they are planning on opening a commercial center.

Starting a new life and unemployed has added a bit of drama. My parents told me that things would get better and that maybe this was a blessing in disguise.

Since I haven’t been able work and job openings are scarce, I dedicated myself to being a complete housewife. All the boxes are unpacked and most of the knickknacks are placed around the house. The house is still missing furniture in certain areas. I think that the Bedrooms and Kitchen/eating area are the only areas that looked like they are lived in. The dinning room has 3 different folding tables leaning against that wall and two medium wooden cabinets (one that belonged to Gerard’s mother and one that my parents bought us) where we keep the new chinaware that we received as a wedding present.

The living room has an old sofa that Gerard had in his room. Everyone says that there is one particular item that guys love and their wives hate. The sofa is the one item I hate. It is a black suede couch that has silver and blue zig-zags through it. It is too modern for our house. If I could find a way to make it disappear (burn it!) I would. But Gerry L-O-V-E-S the couch. He told me that when he got his first pay check that was what he bought. (I think that if he paid more than 10 dollars for it, he got ripped off… Have I mentioned I hate it?) I tried putting a nice blanket over it, but he takes it off every time. It is the most uncomfortable couch to sit in. I guess we are lucky that we don’t have many visitors yet. As soon as I get a new job and I pull in a decent salary I am buying us a living room set.

The office is set up with two desks so that each one of us can get work done. Gerry doesn’t work much at his desk at home, he does a lot of his work at the office. I am guessing that in the end the office is going to become more like the Library (and my small office, since I work A LOT in the office.)

We just got internet and cable hooked up a week ago. Apparently some wires were messed up and the electrician had to come over and inspect the house. Now I can happily check my emails from the comfort of my home, without running down to the local Starbucks and buy a $5 dollar coffee just to check my emails.

Anyway, staying at home has been keeping me busy. I am not sure if I enjoy the 100% stay-at-home-wife. I miss getting up early in the morning to go teach classes. There are some days when I feel like I’m going crazy. But in general, I guess it still feels like I’m in a honeymoon.

Everyone says that marriage is an adjustment. I couldn’t agree more. Gerry and I are getting use to living together, learning to co-live. He puts up with my constant nagging of cleaning up and I put up with his disorganization.

There are a lot of things that we are learning to accept about each other. However there is this one thing that Gerry does that bothers me… He doesn’t call anymore when he’s at work.

He used to call me once or twice a day…and it made me feel special that he was so considerate. I don’t need for him to call me every second, we are living together, I see him in the morning and at night. What bothers me is that he doesn’t call to tell me when he’s going out to lunch or dinner with his friends. He doesn’t call to tell me when he’ll be staying late at the office.

Maybe I am overreacting, maybe it is not a big deal. But I grew up as an only child and I was required to always check in with my parents. If I was going to be late, if I was going to a movie, if I was having lunch at school or home, etc. I had to always tell someone my thoughts and my actions.

Gerard grew up more independent and free. He never checked in. (and if he did, it was always the next day.)

I am not asking for him to call me All The Time. All I ask is for him to be considerate of me. Twice this past week I have cooked dinner and waited for him to come home. He arrives at 11:30 and tells me he has already eaten. It hurts me, because I plan a nice dinner and I feel like a fool waiting for him. I wonder if he knows that I worry for him. I worry when I don’t hear from him. I try calling him and a lot of times his cel phone is out of range or he simple doesn’t answer.

We have spoken about this topic already, but I wonder if he really understands me. I’m not being neurotic, I just want to know if I should be expecting him in the evening for a family dinner. I just want for him to check in with me.

I guess I am just learning the hard way that he has always been free and never had someone checking in with him so much. I am understanding his independence from everyone. However, he’s not alone anymore. He has me. He has to know that there is someone waiting everyday to hear from him; good news and bad news.

Marriage is harder than I thought. (And I think this isn’t even the beginning of what may come… oh gosh….)

Till next time.

Desirae

aka. Mrs. Valdespino

Constant Updates_75 Days Till Wedding.

As of October 2011 Entry has been moved to:

myoddmarriage.blogspot.com 

:D

Check it out for Marriage Updates.

xoxo

Desirae Valdespino