Dear Blog
I just realized that in the last post I didn’t write about how we told his parents. I began by telling you that I was with my future-mother-in-law looking at a picture she took of us, but then I forgot to mention it again. On the first night of the proposal we told my parents and the following night we told his parents.
Therefore without much ado, Diary Entry #5 Part 1 (I say “part 1” because I have an important meeting tomorrow and it is very late at night, so I doubt I will have time to write the whole day down.)
Diary Entry #5
[December 23rd
Dear Diary
It’s almost 2:00 o’clock. Gerard said he was going to pick me up at half past one…or was it half past two? In any case, I guess it’s just as well that he didn’t arrive early or on time. My mom and I just had a big fight about him. She doesn’t understand why I’ve agreed to marry him. She doesn’t approve of it. She thinks I’m being foolish and that I’m jeopardizing my future.
“He is gay!” she screamed at me. “How could he possibly make you happy? How could you consider marrying him?! I will not pay for you to have a fake wedding…”
“Mother!” I was sitting in the living room rubbing my head. Her screaming was causing me to have a headache. “It isn’t for sure that we might get married. This is just something that happened and I agreed to it because we both love each other. Maybe it’s not the typical romantic type of love that we see in movies or the type of romantic love that I’ve searched for when I date. But we respect each other. He cares for me as I am and I care for him as he is…”
“So all this is a farce? You’re not going to eventually get married to him?”
“I don’t know yet…” I wanted to tell her the truth that we were just pulling this off until for awhile. “I don’t expect you to fully understand my decision mom. I just want you to support it. If you don’t want to spend a lot of money on your only daughter’s wedding just because she is getting married to someone you don’t approve of then you don’t have to. I…We will find another way to finance a wedding. He is graduating this coming spring semester and I will graduate next fall semester. We will find a way to work things out. “
My mom finally sat down on the sofa across from me. I could tell that she was still very upset.
“I can’t deal with this.” She said. “I just don’t understand why…”
I knew I was going to have to lie…and I regret what I said as soon as it came out of my mouth. “He swings both ways mom. He’s gone out with guys, but now he’s wants to start a ‘normal’ family. I would like that very much as well…”
My mom stared at me. I could tell she was still trying to figure out things in her mind. “I can’t do this right now. We will talk about this later tonight.”
“Gerard is picking me up in a little bit. We are going over to tell his mother and then his father. I will try and be home early.”
“Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” She spat out at me as she walked into the kitchen.
I could feel tears forming in my eyes as she said that. I wonder if what I’ve gotten myself into will ruin our relationship. Maybe I should back out? I felt like the house was suffocating me, so I walked outside. I looked down the street to see if I could spot Gerard’s car coming. We needed to talk before we headed over to his parents place.
We had agreed to go to his mother’s house first since it was closest and then drive to his father’s place. Gerard’s parents got divorced when he was a teenager, and even though they ended things badly, they were always present for their children. I have never met his father, so I’m a bit nervous to find out what he is like… His mother on the other hand, is a very strong-minded person who can be very sweet or your worst nightmare.
I hope that we can have a good relationship for the sake of the whole family. If my mom and her team up to go against Gerard and I being engaged I don’t think I’d be able to go through with this. I don’t think his mother knows of his sexual preference, but I’m sure she suspects. I’ll find out soon enough…
] END OF DIARY ENTRY #5 PART 1
It is late and this was one of the hardest entries to edit. I can’t stay up longer, but I will finish editing it tomorrow and upload it.
My cel phone is beeping...I wonder who is texting me at this late hour? My caller ID says it is from Gerard… Ah, the nightly “Good-night Love” message…
Some days he is very thoughtful and sweet. Some days he isn’t…
He screwed up the other day, and this time I won’t let him off easy…
*Are you sure you want to delete the text message?*
*YES*
*Message Deleted*
Good.
I have to go to bed.
Goodnight.
XOXO
Desirae
