Thursday, March 31, 2011

Not “I” or “Me”, but “We” and “Us”

 

Dear Blog

People have asked us how we are dealing with the new relationship, going from being best friends, to being married. I always said I wanted to marry my best friend and in this case I did. *happy face*

I tell them that usually our relationship is based on full honestly. We talk in terms of '”we”, “us” and “ours”, instead of “I”, “me” and “my”. Since we got married we try talking in a unity, act as if we were one.

I won’t lie and say that there aren’t days when we argue and have typical couple arguments. But in our relationship we know our weaknesses and we love each other for them.

We respect each other. There are times when we get on each others nerve, but one of us always says those three magic words “I am sorry”. In a lot of relationships one partner has a hard time saying that or admitting it. Gerry and I will say it and mean it. We admit our faults. We admit to be wrong when sometimes we are not. We give in to each other for the sake of not being resentful.

One thing I read in a magazine a couple years ago was that to have a successful marriage, you needed to give in to your partner and not criticize  a lot. For example, we divide the housework by areas. One week I am in charge of the moping and vacuuming, while he washes windows and dusts. While I don’t like how he dusts, I don’t complain in front of him. I give him tips, but I never go back and Re-dust. I don’t tell him he does a bad job. I will get to dust the area “correctly” or “to my liking” the following week.

Respect. If i didn’t show him that, then he would hate doing the housework around the house. He would hate ‘helping out’.

We work together. It is our home, our life. We make it work.

 

So, making things work isn’t always simple, but I would like to think that for newlyweds we get along just fine.

Till next time

XOXO

Desirae

Monday, March 28, 2011

Let's go fly a kite'

Dear Blog

I'm getting ready to leave for work, but, I suddenly got the urge or
idea to have a picnic and fly a kite.
The weather isn't nice enought to consider flying kites anytime soon.
But maybe it would be a fun afternoon activity to do with Gerard or
the family.
Anyway I just thought I'd update an entry for today. It looks like it
might rain so I better leave soon. I hate driving in the rain.

Till next time.
Xoxo
Desirae

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Our Weird Habits…

 

Dear Blog

When you live with someone there are many things that start coming into the light. It’s very much like dating. When you start dating the guy or girl is always polite, correct and dressed fashionably nice. After months or years of dating, you begin to see sides to that person that the first dates didn’t revile. (such as maybe he likes wearing wrinkled shirts all the time, or prefers sitting and watching TV rather than hiking…Or she doesn’t always wear makeup, she prefers oversized T-shirts, etc)

Well something similar seems to be happening between Gerard and I.

Our relationship has always been based on honesty, brutal honesty. Even when we were friends we were always honest and very trusting. However now that we live under the same roof there are some ‘weird’ habits that I’ve noticed he has or he has noticed I have.

Some of them are funny the others just seems unique. But I thought I’d share them with you.

Gerard’s Habits (Top 5 for now.)

1) Whenever he is deep  in thought or analyzing something he stares off into space. Then he cringles his nose, making is upper lip stick up and his right eye twitches a bit. (I’d noticed him do this years ago when we were friends, but I’m starting to realized how often he does it…I find this habit adorable.)

2) He is always rubbing the back of his neck. At first I thought maybe he was ichy on the back of his neck because his hair cut is short and I thought that when the hair grew back it bothered him. However, even with ‘long’ hair, he rubs his neck.

3) His shoes always have to be aligned in the closet: sneakers, brown shoes and then black shoes.

4) If he doesn’t walk around the block (or walk a few blocks near the house) he can’t sleep. (I’m guessing this is a good healthy habit)

5) He chain smokes whenever he has had a bad day at work.  On good days he only smokes one cigarette before dinner.

 

My Top 5 Habits… (or Habits that Gerard has pointed out that I have)

1) I always wash the dishes in a specific order:  (We don’t have a dish washer so I put them on a green drain board we have.)  First I wash the plates, then I wash the glasses (cups), then the fry pans or containers, and last I wash the silverware.  (I hadn’t noticed this but it is true!)

2) I bite the inside of my lip when I am lost in thought (daydreaming). (or whenever I am deep in thought I bite the top of my lip) (my parents always complain that I have this habit)

3) I smoke a cigarette whenever I have a writer’s block.  (guilty as charged)

4) I line up the spices in the kitchen cabinet so that they are color coordinated.  ( i think it looks nice! but it drives him nuts)

5)  I talk to myself and answer myself when I think I’m alone. I do this a lot when I’m stressed (LOL…so true….)

 

So these were some odd habits that we have noticed in each other.

Maybe I’ll add more later…as the days go by we learn new things about each other and ourselves.

till next time.

XOXO

Desirae

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Remembering College

 

Dear Blog,

After work today, I while I was at the grocery store I ran into an old classmate; Anna. I was surprised to see her since, right after she graduated last semester she got an amazing job offer in England teaching a literature course.

She was back in town for a couple weeks, visiting family and picking up the last of her personal items.

While we were talking she pulled out of her wallet an old messenger conversation that Gerard and I had. I used to have that conversation in my wallet, but then my wallet got stolen and I lost it.

I hope the conversation is able to convey the “goofiness” that we had during fifth semester.

 

Anna: Here is a recount of your classmate relationship

1st and 2nd semester:

Gerard: Did you do your homework, can I see it just to make sure mine’s ok?

Rae (me!) Sure!! (OMG A NEW FRIEND!) (this is actually very true, the first time Gerry spoke to me, I was overjoyed.)

3rd and 4th semester:

Gerard: Hey so…I didn’t do my homework, can I copy yours? I will totally change stuff so it doesn’t look like I copied it.

Rae: Sure, you’re the best!

5th and 6th semester:

Gerard: B**CH GIMME YOUR HOMEWORK!

Rae: Sure thing, my dearest, dearest friend!

7th, 8th, and 9th semester:

Gerard: What we had homework? Ush, Rae you betta do it for me, I’m too busy doing nothing with my Life/Partying/Pretending I’m working on my Thesis…

Rae: No problem, you know I will always be here for you!

(Then Gerard ‘hopefully’ finished University and Rae;s life purpose is lost forever…. THE END)

 

I still laugh whenever I remember that conversation. I invited her over to the house so she can see Gerry again. Also, it’s funny showing off the house and ‘our’ new life. I hadn’t realized how much I miss her perky personality.

She is coming over sometime this week or next week for dinner. We exchanged numbers and we be in touch.

 

I was just realizing that I should write down when Gerard and I met. I quickly reviewed it when when we got engaged, but I haven’t really gone into it.

 

Till Next Time

XOXO

Desirae

Saturday, March 12, 2011

One Main Goal Accomplished!

Dear Blog
Saturdays have become "clean the house" days and "grading my student's homeworks.
However today I procrastenated to do either tasks until I did something for myself.
 
I put together a 250 piece Puzzle.
 
On our honeymoon I bought a Puzzle from the gift shop in Europe. It is the picture of a famous painting (I can't remember the name right now...)
I had been meaning to put it together but I hadn't found the chance. The sealed box has been sitting on the table in our T.V. since December. I decided that today would be an excellent time to do it. I needed to get my mind off work and home. I haven't been stressed recently, but I needed to do something for myself.
I have always been a fan of puzzles big or small. Even though my parents didn't have many puzzles at home, due to the humidity problem that the house had. I never stopped enjoying looking for puzzles and dreaming that one day I would be able to take an afternoon and relax.
 
Today was that day.
Now, hours later, I kind of regret not working around the house and getting a late start on checking my students papers. BUT it was worth it.
No one really called  the phone today. Just my mom checking up on me.
Gerard was out running errans.
Bryce was off doing his things.
My in-laws kept to themselves. The whole family is going out for dinner tomorrow: his parents, and my parents.
And my agent/editor is busy re-schedualing the interview.
 
This was the best weekend I've had in awhile. Very relaxing, just taking a couple hours for myself. Totally worth it.
I recommend that at least once a month a person should allow themselves to make time for "them".
Go work out.
Go the the spa.
Sleep in late.
Read a book in bed in your P.J.'s.
Work on a puzzle.
Play a board game.
 
Just take some time to pamper yourself and stay worry free. It helps.
At least I think so.
 
So one goal down: Taking time just for myself.
 
Now I better get a start on checking my students work... tomorrow I'll work on the house.
 
Till tomorrow!
XOXO
Desirae
 
 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Midnight calls aren't always bad

Dear Blog
I always assumed that receiving a phone call at Midnight meant bad news...however, I just got one of the most exciting phone call in my life.
My agent just called to say that my novel has been on the #4 Best sellers list this month (so far!)
ahhhhh!!!
She also told me that I am going to be interviewed this weekend to discuss my book and how it feels to be #4 on the Best Sellers this month!
I couldn't be more excited!!
I can't wait to tell Gerry and my family later in the morning!!
YEY!!

Oh wish me luck!!
I'll write more later!

XOXO
Desirae

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

He says Out, I Say In

Dear Blog
So, it's been a L-O-N-G day. Here is a quick update of what happened yesterday evening after Alex left and this morning while talking to Gerard.
Gerard really liked Alex and keeps joking with me, that we would be perfect together. However I tell him that it's not that way.
"He is my co-worker. We work together and he isn't my type..." I told him this morning while I sipped my cup of coffee.
"Oh, that's right... He's straight. I keep forgetting your type is the kind you can't have."
"Ouch!" I laughed. "That's low!"
"Remember everyone loves you...well, maybe except straight guys." he smiled and hugged me. "Well...maybe that straight guy likes you."
"I seriously doubt it. Anyway, he knows I am married. He wouldn't dare break up a marriage..."
"Oh, darling, you live in a pink bubble...If he wants you." He looked me straight in the eye. "I won't stand between you two..."
"Well I will stand against it...I'm IN the marriage... I told you, if you're going to 'cheat' on me it has to be with Bryce or no one at all."
Gerry shrugged and took the last cup of coffee. "I thought I was suppose to be the husband in this scenario, not the wife."
"Oh, don't worry...you're not the wife."
"Well, I don't feel like the husband."
"No...you're the other man. My husband is Gerard Butler." I pointed to the picture frame sitting by the entrance. I am inlove with that actor. I know it's off to have a picture of a celebrity at the entrance of the house, but I haven't found a decent picture of Gerry and I to put in that picture frame.
Laughing at my insanity Gerry said goodbye and left for work...
 
 
It's been a long day! I'll write more later!
Till tomorrow!
XOXO
Desirae
 
 

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It’s All About Looks

Dear Blog

What a hectic day it’s been!!

I went to work this morning at 8:30. My first class was at 9:00, I over slept and ended up getting dressed in a hurry!

I really enjoy teaching the children. It makes getting up early fun. I look forward everyday to seeing my students and co-workers.

I have made various friends. The history teacher, Janeth,  is the sweetest lady I’ve ever met. We have the same lunch hour, so I usually sit with her. She always has take-out food with her and she is very THIN!! I envy her soo much! She is one of those persons that can eat anything and everything and their body Never shows it. I would kill for a body like that. If I don’t work out one day, you can notice. Janeth is very sweet and says I look wonderful as I am. It’s wonderful to have a gal friend at school. She is very helpful when I have a doubt referent to the books or the classes I have to teach.

I have  also been getting along very well with Alexander “Alex”, the computer teacher. He is probably the only other teacher, besides Janeth,  that is close to my age. Most of the other teachers are in their mid thirties early forties. I believe Bruce is 27 years old. It is a lot of fun to talk with. He is almost probably the most positive person I’ve met. It doesn’t matter how bad the day may seem he has a positive outlook on life. He is also the only teacher that has the same free hours as I do. Except that his lunch hour is an hour after mine, so I always run into him as I’m leaving. Somehow he found a way to make that work to his advantage, in the morning before my first class he give me money for me to order his lunch. And in the afternoon before I leave the cafeteria I order his meal and by the time he gets there his food is ready.  (Janeth says that I’ve become a fully trained wife, since I’m always looking out for the guys. I laugh at the idea…I hadn’t thought of it that way….)

Today, Alex was a HUGE help!! During last period, as I was taking my students to the library so they could find books for their homework, I tripped on a step and pretty much landed on my face. Lucky I only scratched my elbow and arm. However as I fell, my glasses slipped off and felt to the ground, smashing into pieces. I was so upset! I didn’t have any spare! I take pride in the fact that since I started wearing glasses in Elementary school that I have never lost or broken a pair.

Unfortunately, now I broke my glasses and found that I was in very Big trouble. My students ran to make sure I was ok as I laid on the ground trying to laugh at myself and not feel embarrassed. One of my students ran to get the nurse and another one ran and got Alex. He ran out of his classroom.

“Mrs. Valdespino, are you ok?” He asked and he helped me to feet.

“Yes, yes…I must have stepped wrong. I’m ok. Nothing major. I’m just a klutz.” I brushed the dust off my cloths. “Unfortunately my glasses suffered. I can’t see very well.”

“Do you have a spare?” Alex asked as he lead me to the library and got my students in order.

“No” I answered embarrassed. “I’ve always been very careful with my eye glasses. I’ve never lost them or broken them… Oh gosh! How am I going to get home?!”

“Do you want me to call your family? Or your husband?”

“Thank you. I can call them.” I smiled. “I’m not too blind. I think I can manage to dial my parents. I think my mom might be able to take me to buy some new glasses. Gerry is busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

“Ok.” He lingered in the doorway. “If you want, I can give you a ride. I know a great little inexpensive eye glass shop that can have your glasses ready in a couple hours. It is downtown, but I can take you if you like. I actually have to go to the shop today at 3:30. I order some new frames and I need to pick them up.”

“You wear glasses?”

“Only on the weekends. I prefer wearing contact lenses. the rest of the time”

“I would have never guessed that…”

“So, would you like me to take you?”

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you…”

We met in the teachers room after our classes were done. He drove my car to a parking lot across the school so that my car wouldn’t get locked into the school grounds. I mentally made sure that the car was in decent order… (geez! I can’t remember!)

We went in his car to the store. It was very nice, a couple blocks above the street where Bryce took me to order my wedding dress. I’ll have to mentally try and find this place again.

Alex was very nice taking my arm and leading me through the street.

True to his word, that eye glass shop was a very nice place, inexpensive and an hour later I had a new pair or glasses.

new glasses What do you think? I think they look more sophisticated than my older ones… They did cost a bit hunk from my paycheck, It Was Worth It!

I invited Alex for dinner as a way to Thank Him for his help. He said it wasn’t necessary, but I insisted that he come. We went back to pick up my car and he followed me to the house. I put some chicken in the oven, cut up potatoes to make scallop potatoes and started cutting up some salad. As I made dinner noticed the time on Alex’s wrist watch.

“Oh my! Does your watch say it’s 8:30 already? I hadn’t noticed! The chicken won’t be done for another hour! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize it was so late…I would have made something faster.”

Alex chucked and looking down at his watch he said. “No, don’t worry, it is only 5:50. My watch doesn’t work. The battery died about 3 months ago, but I haven’t changed it… I always use my Blackberry to check the hour…

“So why do you wear a watch?”

“It’s a Swatch Desirae! It’s fashionable!” He said showing me his shinny silver watch. “It looks nice. It’s all about looks.”

I smiled…”You sound like my husband. He loves wearing fashion brands…I think he’s job requires that he knows a lot about those topics. I use to always notice what…or Who he was wearing… I’m more practicable. The cheaper the better, If it doesn’t work, fix it or toss it out. If Gerry was here he would probably scold me for saying such things…” I added with a smile.

“Where did you say Gerard works? At a fashion magazine?”

“Yes. Head supervisor.”

Just as I was saying that, I heard the front door click. Gerry was home early.

“Honey, who’s car is parked out in the driveway…” Gerard only calls me Honey, when he isn’t sure of who is on the premises.

“Welcome home.” I walk to the front door to greet him. “Love, I invited Alex, my co-worker, to stay for dinner. You don’t mind do you?”

Gerard walked with me into the kitchen, and kissed me swiftly on the lips. “No, I don’t mind at all. It’s nice to have company.

Alex got out of his seat and shook hands with Gerard. “Hey. I’m Alexander. How are you?”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Dinner should be ready in about another half hour. Why don’t you guys sit in the eating area or watch TV while I finish cleaning up here.”

“Sure…” my husband lead  Alex into the other room. “Hey Rae… did you get new glasses?”

I told him about my accident at school and how Alex helped. Gerry answered by admitting that the glasses looked very good on me. I couldn’t have felt prouder.

So we had dinner and a lovely evening. Perhaps this may sound cruel or even wrong, but I have to admit that for just one evening, it was wonderful talking with a straight guy. I love Gerry and adore my time with Bryce. But sometimes it is nice to talk about random daily things with a guy who isn’t criticizing what you are wearing.

Alex is someone I hope I will be friends with for awhile. I find myself very trusting around him, and he seems to be very relaxed. Gerry has always gotten along with my friends, but as I watched him talk with Alex, I noticed he seems a lot more at ease.

Maybe I’ll invite Alex and his girlfriend over one day… I think he has a girlfriend…

Anyway, I better go to sleep. I have another early class tomorrow.

Till Next Time

XOXO

Desirae