Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Is it worth it?—15 Days Till Wedding

 

I have slept very little hours these past two days

 

I'm going to bed now.

 

Alone...thinking and waiting for no one…

 

The wedding is days away, and maybe it’s the final pressure that is killing us.

We had a big fight and I’m starting to realize that maybe I will end up being the only one trying to hold the marriage together.

 

I’ll write more later.

XOXO

Desirae

 

ps. I know I owe you updates! They are coming soon! I’ve read your messages. My computer had to be reset, along with the old blog entries. I also had to re-edit some entries because I got flagged. lol

Please be patient! :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

“I’ll Always Love You” Take II—21 Days Till Wedding

 

Dear Blog,

So, as I mentioned in the last entry, Gerard and Bryce got me a new engagement ring. I still feel horrible for losing the first ring. I hear about brides losing their engagement rings and thinking they were just scatter-brains. But now, in their defense, it’s hard to always keep track that ring!!

I mean, I remember putting it on in the morning and I don’t remember ever taking it off! I didn’t notice it was gone until the evening.

:(   sad face.

 

The story about the new ring is pretty cute. I was walking in the mall with Bryce after school. We stopped by a wrist-watch store so he could get this watch fixed. Across the street from the Watch Store is a Jewelry store. Gerard and I already have our wedding rings (or wedding bands) picked out, but I figured it would be proper that Bryce get a matching ring as well. He, after all,  will be living with us on and off during the years. We decided to see what ring designs they had. While we were looking around, Bryce showed me a beautiful engagement ring. It had 2 little diamonds on the side and a “big” diamond in the middle. It was breath taking!!

“Do you like it?” Bryce asked.

“I think it’s beautiful. But I’m not looking for an engagement ring. I feel horrible for loosing the one Gerard gave me.” I answered.

“Well, that’s true. If we got you a new ring, you might lose it again.” Bryce said. I knew he was joking, but it still stung. I didn’t think about the ring again, but I didn’t see the last of it.

That night at Bryce and Gerard took me out to dinner. Nothing fancy, a regular burger/salad place. It was a very chilly night, Gerard was nice enough to lend me his coat so I could keep warm.

“Hey, Rae. Could you hand me my cigarettes? The box is in the pocket inside my coat.”

“Sure.”

I put my in the pocket of his coat, which I was wearing, but instead of putting out what I thought was his cigarettes, I ended up pulling out a little velvet black box. I stared at it for a couple seconds shocked and afraid to know what was inside it.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Open it Desirae” Bryce said encouraging me.

“No…”

“Just open it love. I promise it won’t bite” Gerard said guiding my hand to open the box.

I opened it very slowing…inside was the ring that Bryce and I had seen at the store earlier.

“Oh my gosh! You guys!” I said as  I tried handing them back the box. “I can’t accept this! It’s too much!”

“No, it’s not too much.” Bryce took the box and handed it to Gerard. “It’s not exactly what you think. It’s not a diamond. It’s a cubic zirconia. It’s something a bit more special. In the dark, the middle stone looks white, like a diamond. In the sunlight, the middle stones turns a purple color and on hazy days or inside places the stone turns a pink color. Three colors, representing a the future family of all three of us together.”

Gerard pulled the ring out of the box, held it up to me so I could see it and then placed it on my finger. I started crying. Once again, he had engraved on the inside of the ring “I will always love you.”  That had become our phrase. Our promise to one another… an honest love.

Flashback to engagement day:

He pulled it out of the box and handed it to me. As I looked at it, I saw something engraved around it. “I’ll always love you.”
“You had it engraved?” I exclaimed. He nodded, smiled as he put the ring on my finger and kissed me.

End of flashback.

 

Gerard held my hand and hugged me as  I thanked him and Bryce over and over for such  a beautiful detail.

I am taking such good care of this ring. I am enjoying seeing the color change, and with each change, I think of them. I don’t deserve this much love from two men. But for some reason they love me and I know I couldn’t love them anymore.

 

Till next time.

XOXO

Desirae

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

New ring--- 22 Days Till Wedding

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Gerry and Bryce were sweet enough to give me a new ring. I still feel horrible for losing it.

 

more updates coming soon!

XOXO

Desirae

Monday, November 15, 2010

Our House--- 30 Days Till Wedding

Dear Blog

Great news!!!

Our home!

Our house!

The house Gerard and I have worked to buy and pay off is FINALLY ours!!!

The house is paid off!! We have a home! We are just one month away from getting married, but now we have a house to go home to!!

This great news! I can’t wait to share it will the family and friends!

CELEBRATING TONIGHT!!!

XOXO

Desirae

UPDATED:


Dear Blog

Today is a very happy day that Gerard and I. The final paperwork for our house has gone through.


(funny note: My computer has Speech Recognition, So I was dictating this entry, and I said “The final paperwork for our house has gone through.” and the computer wrote “The final paperwork for hell has gone through.”

I laughed my head off.. I hope it’s not a sign…)


We have officially finished paying off our new house. I’m so excited to get started on furnishing it. I soon as the bank and real estate guy called me. I called Gerard and he was very excited as well. I invited Bryce and him over to the house tonight so we can open a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

I think what we’re most proud about the fact that this house was bought by just Gerard and I. Our parents had offered to help with the payment, but we made it clear that we wanted this to be our house.

Most newlywed couples usually buy an apartment, than a house and then eventually move to live into a bigger house when children come around.

However, Gerard and I are not sure when “we’ll have children”, so we decided to go straight into buying a new house. As I mentioned before this house is in a secure location and has very few neighbors around. So we have the privacy we would need in case Bryce should ever decide to move in with us for more than just a couple days.

On a day when there isn’t much traffic, the house is just about 30 minutes away from my parents and about 40 minutes-to-an-hour away from Gerard’s mother’s house.

When my parents got married my grandparents on my father’s side, bought them their house. The house they bought them was right next door to their own house which meant the family was always close and always… In each other’s business.

My dad, tried to follow the family tradition, and offered to buy us our first house but I knew that he would get something that was too close to their own house. (and even if he did buy a house that was far way, I didn’t want the feeling that the house Gerard and I lived in was my father’s house).

I made it very clear my parents that I wanted this house to be just Gerard and my house. And I also told them this is it was the first time that I would live far away from home, I wanted my privacy. In twenty three years I’d never traveled anywhere beyond a couple of miles away from my own house. To actually have my own house with Gerard far away from family and most friends is something that I really want. Gerard had been traveling the world since he was 16 years old, he has gone to Europe, Spain, etc.

This time I was going to be in my own house, with Gerard, and even though I love my parents, I want the independents I know I should have tried to have gained while back.


So we have our house. We have a house to come back to after the honeymoon!!

This week we will probably move in all the boxes of things that we have. I have most of my items packed (some things will stay at my parents house until we have settled in better)

I am guessing that after the honeymoon we will really start unpacking boxes and setting up the house. (I’ll probably get stuck unpacking everything while Gerry is at work… my job starts later.)


Anyway, it’s later! I’ll update later!

XOXO

Desirae

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lost the Ring--- 34 Days Till Wedding

 

I lost my engagement ring!!

RE-EDITING!

UPDATES COMING SOON!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Thinking of Husband #2--- 43 Days Till Wedding

Dear Blog

I sent Bryce a text message out of the blue today. I was feeling very lonely with Gerard busy at work and my parents are out for the afternoon with friends. I was not sure what made me want to text him, but I did.

“Hey. Just dropping by to say hi. That’s about it. Haha. Weird me. Take care.”

I got a message back a few minutes later that said “I love you being weird. Thanks a lot.”

I have to be the luckiest girl ever. I have two amazing friends. I have often joked with Gerard that if he dies or if we get a divorce that I would marry Bryce.

Bryce is my husband #2.

I wonder if this makes me a terrible person?

I have to go. I need to go interview some people for a term paper that is due in two days. Nothing like leaving everything to the last minute, right?

Love

Desirae

Monday, November 1, 2010

New Month.ahh!—44 Days Till Wedding

Dear Blog

44 days until the wedding.

I

am

          freaking

                        out

 

ahhhh!!!

 

Desirae